the deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy

Friday, September 16, 2005

Torn

I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn

Omg.. Can't believe I'm officially single again.. But no matter how much I don't want to be, it's probably for the best. I blurted it out while I was having my biggest PMS ever but he told me he's ok with whatever I want so I guess he doesn't really care anyway. Brutally honest as always.. but that should confirm it for me. Well at least we got to talk..

I've just decided the problem lies with me.. I took out my emotional basket and emptied it onto him without any warning. Now it's probably a burden lifted for him. I'm sure I don't want any future relationships to happen because I don't want any guy in the future to have to deal with me. I can't believe I went through four years without a bf and forgot why I didn't want one in the first place. I better just empty all my fuckin emotions on my precious blog like I used to.

Ivan just asked me to go to the beach do whatever I want to relieve stress. Can't believe he suggested that.. Obviously I was freshly bitter enough to say I'll just go drown myself and he even said he'll follow me. WTH. You jump I jump? You eat shit I eat shit?? Hahaha.. those were the funny yet annoying primary school cliches man.. Damn right..

Argh.. Shit it's like 2.27am and I'm still doin my sis's essay.. I have to. I'm earning pocket money from this.. Another cold sleepless night.. I wonder how I'm going to have the energy to celebrate Alan's 18th birthday clubbing..

posted by mayuyi # 1:11:00 am

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the deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy

Friday, September 16, 2005

Torn

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