the deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy

hehe.. today was also spent in the state library~! had lunch at nando's wit geoff and studied wit florence & delicia~! gd luck flor for ur accounting exam tml!! naughty girl shud have stayed off the net the past coupla days den she wudn't hafta cram so much for tonite!

geoff & i met shumei & wei chan at max brenner afterwards.. hahahah haven't gone out wit shumei in a while.. it was realli exciting to meet her~! wei chan.. well i just went with him to watch taxi on thurs~ and shumei & geoff are finally talkin and laughing and being crazy... it's all good~! they were so perverted man.. every single thing also associate wit sth realli dirty... and oooo shumei licked the chocolate off the strawberries realli sensually.. HAHHAHAHA~! dirty dirty... wei chan & i cudn't tahan some of it... too lame & horrific~ i'm not trying to act innocent.. but some of wad they said were realli horny man~! and they continued at mi apartment later on. so spastic~!! she took mi bazooka and poked it into mi spotlight holes.. omg.. hahaha.. and geoff was roleplaying with mi leopard fur blanket! mi gosh.. can film porn sia. mi & wei chan just squeezed into the edge of the sofa to avoid them as much as possible.. HAHAHA~! but when mi dad n johann kor2 started entering.. it was like a sudden change... they all suddenly looked like realli respectable students~! now i noe.. when i have children i shudn't judge their frens just by their cover.. =P haha.. aniwae.. my dad said tt shumei looked realli frenly and nice.. MUAHAHAHAHAHAH~! quite funnie actualli... oh wells we continued our crapping session over dinner at ito again~

just came back from a fruit-shopping session with mi dad.. thank goodness safeway closes at midnight~! hahaa.. mi dad's obsessed wit fruits!

mmmm... spent mi whole day at da state library.. i managed 4 chapters today... another 4 more and i just need to skim thru again and i'm done for tuesday's exam~! i juz want everythin to b over n done with.. cos i'm too excited to be able to start playing w/o worryin abt schwork and to see da blacKzxs~! i realli miss them all like kerR-azEE~! 6 more days~!!! *taps fingers impatiently* hehe... todae i studied wit geoff.. but i dunno why this time he just HAD to comment on everything i did and how i looked. argh!!! dun wanna talk to him liao. hmmmmm.... visited fq's blog.. and discovered tt josiah has a gf now... hmmmmm... altho i dun feel anithing at all.. i still dun think he deserves mi best wishes. bleaghs!

la la la la la
[Verse 1]
I'm tugging at my hair
I'm pulling at my clothes
I'm trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I'm staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I'm searching for the words inside my head
'Cuz I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
'Cuz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah

[Chorus]
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down on one knee...
Marry me today!
Guess I'm wishing my life away...
With these things I'll never say

[Verse 2]
It don't do me any good
It's just a waste of time
What use is it to you, what's on my mind?
If it ain't comin' out
We're not goin' anywhere
So why can't I just tell you that I care?
'Cuz I'm feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
'Cuz I know you're worth it...you're worth it...yeah

[Chorus]
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down on one knee
Marry me today!
Guess I'm wishing my life away...
With these things I'll never say

[Bridge]
What's wrong, with my tongue
These words keep slippin' away...
I stutter...I stumble
Like I've got nothin' to sa-ay...
I'm feelin' nervous
Tryin' to be so perfect
'Cuz I know you're worth it...
You're worth it...yeah

la la la la la la la la la...
La la la la la la la la la...

Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I want to blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

With these things I'll never say

freakkk.. today i was planning to study.. but NADA.. ZIP! all stupid ivan's fault!! when i was grilling lamb for mi dad's brunch, my dad picked up the phone.. "ummm... i think u got the wrong number." den a minute later.. phone rang again... it was ivan going "MAYUYI!! CALL ME BACK~!" and i went "?!?! OKOK!" so i thot it was some emergency and called him back..

"wad happened?!"
"do u wanna go plae drums?"
"....wah lau eh"

aniwae.. i agreed la.. but he took a real long time so i was walkin arnd myers.. and i ran into william~ hahaha.. funni guy.. so obsessed with this dish from this restaurant blue sky. den cos ivan still wasn't at the arcade, i went to lunch with him.. it was nearby aniwae. alormaks.. it felt rather nostalgic cos i hadn't realli gone out with will for like... over 6 months probably? but it was gd catching up wit him.. remembering january extd when we played squash along wit daniel & robin.. and talkin abt how much we'd changed. he's got someone new.. happie for him man~

haha.. met ivan soon after. i promised miself to just plae wit ivan for onli one hour.. but i ended up playing until 5.30!!! mi gosh. alan & willy were there too.. hahaha~ so funni ivan got so carried awae with drums and this game i intro-ed him to.. beatmania~ tt he forgot to eat his lunch! oh man.. double the games, double the addiction. i also ran into mani other trinity students~ like jennifer & the rest~! ooo they're going to metro tonite.. shumei too!! so sad.. can't go cos mi dad's here!! 2000 ppl tonite leh.. shit.. but oh wells i dun have id aniwae.

dinner was with johann kor2, alan & my dad tonite at pacific house.. the lobster noodle & roast duck were great man~! had a long chat wit alan too.. i din realise tt we wud have stuff to talk abt. =] until from 8.30 to 11pm man.. my dad and johann kor2 too~ he'll be in singapore from the 6th~ cool i'm gonna take him out! eh single blackies ani of u interested? i'll intro u!

hehe~ today i had to go collect my media essay~! i did all right la.. i got wad i expected to get~ but so sad the tcher said mi conclusion was realli weak but the rest were fine~ bleaghs! okie maybe i rushed on it a little too much. but wadeva.. it's over~!

watched taxi wit wei chan & geoffrey today~! asked shumei along but i think she was kinda depressed abt sth.. (*ahem* cos shasti's leaving maybe? k i shudn't jump to conclusions) oh wells.. i hope she'll be all right~!!!!! taxi was real nice~ very funnie altho some of the effects were a bit fake. gisele bundchen is so HOT! i cannot take it.. when i see her i wish i was a guy~!

hahaa... geoff cheated me today.. he told mi he was gonna study at state library. den i said i'll have to stop by my place first. den when i went to the library.. i cudn't find him at all... i just studied one chapter and daydreamed den went off for dinner wit mi dad~ i still hv 7 more chapters to go!

i still haven't started studying the whole freakin day~! hahaha.. back still hurts... #$@%$#%#!@!! oh~ king just came over to drive mi sis to the airport.. her bdae's tml and she's gonna celebrate with all her frens in spore~! cool cool~ aiya 21st bdae i guess must be realli impt~ u noe ah. i followed king and mi sis so tt after he left our carpark i can take our keys back... and this stupid king as usual damn vulgar la... said sth realli jian4 abt me banging guys alreadi and i just whacked him on his head while he was driving. and he started cussing even more abt me.. asshole. can't he stop swearing and insulting others for just 5 minutes? even his cousin lawrence is much nicer la.. talked to me properly and even changed our tea at ito. i think my sis is too nice, she just laughs shyly n dunno how to react when he insults her. mi gosh... she deserves more respect.

aniwae... just came home from dinner wit my sis, dad and magan kor2~ ate at michelino, this place on lygon. the marinara spaghetti's damn GOOD! hahaha.. pity magan kor2 cos mi dad doesn't realli like dyed hair..(especially blonde hair cos it's an ang mo colour) and he was saying "luckily i saw ur pic before so i'm not too surprised to see ur hair!" HAHAHAHA! ooo i'm nv gonna let my aunts in brunei see mi when i dye my hair. yarh.. n magan kor2 kept askin mi and mi sis if we were full and it was rather obvious he wasn't.. but my dad either din noe or din care.. hahahaha poor magan kor2~! luckily we went for fredo after dat.. hopefully he felt fuller!

shitzx.. geoff just changed his post cos of me.. i wasnt seriously angry u noe.. i'm ok when guys kacau mi ('cept for king) but then i also kacau dem back by acting xiao2 qi4. i just want him to sae wad he feels like sayin. i hope he changes it back. i feel damn BAD and so paiseh, i cant talk to him liao!

*sighs* i feel so horrigible today. my mind & body aren't up to anithing.. i wasted my whole afternoon sleeping man.. so moody & lethargic now. i think it's cos i wore my contacts yesterdae and i get realli tired if i wear it for too long. or maybe it's cos i'm finally tired after all that preparations for exams.. or cos i've been cramping again? how i wish i wasn't a girl. but oh well.. sleepin is gd~ it helped mi escape mi pain. since last night, the base of my spine's been acting up again. every step i take, every move i make, it hurts like shit! i was planning to go run everyday before psych but now i dun think i can.. argh! why?!? am i meant to be fat?

oh while looking for an online form to disconnect my old place's electricity.. i found this.. quite funni

If you have a dog, our staff will be advised to look out for your pet if they are required to visit your property.
o I have a dog on the property
o I do not have a dog on the property

aniwae... lemme go pms.. dad wants me to go out again.. ciao bella~

oooOooO... i'm feeling good~!! media exam's over today and maths yesterdae~! now i just have psychology left next tues~! before media i felt so uglie cos i've been wearing glasses and dressing realli dodgily since my drama performance 2 weeks ago so i decided to wear mi contacts, golden hoop earrings and gold rose ring~! hehehhee.. i feel much BETTA~! wei chan & shumei were like suanning me la... *u sae u nv study properly and u have time to dress up?* bleaghs.... wad la. i'm like tt marh.. my clothes shape mi mood one~! =P

afta the exam i followed geoff to vic market to buy all his seafood... shit man.. seeing all the meat made me feel like having a bbq in my balcony~! had the damn good vic market hotdog for lunch today~! stupid geoff-oh-nahdern~! he wrote tt i swallowed a cherry without looking for worms... mi gosh.. made me sound like a pig.. eh i din swallow the cherry whole k?! i ate it like ani normal person would!!! stupid geoff!!! dun wanna talk to him animore~!!!! can't believe i called him mi saviour for maths... ARGH!

oh wells... geoff can just go and die... when i got home, i found mi dad talkin to his lawyer... pretty cool guy, cute old man~! older than mi father some more.. (i guess u noe wad tt means) HAHHAHAA just joking larh wah liew.... aniwae.. the rest of the day was spent shopping and hanging around wit mi dad.. finally some sort of bonding... it's pretty gd for starters tho~! i think my dad is kinder now after he retired.. =] hehe

argh~! i'm giving miself a 15 min break to blog my shit! okie u noe wad? yesterdae and today i realli spent the whole day studying man.. yesterdae started studying at 1pm to 6pm... den cannot tahan and slept from 6++ to 11pm.. den studied again from 1am to 6... den slept till 7am... to clean the house cos my dad came this morn... den i studied again from 10am to NOW~ i never studied so hard in my life before!!! but i think my saviour for today is geoffrey... there were lotsa qns i got stuck on... but he gave me all the notes when he dropped maths cos it was all stolen with my bag. and his notes are much nicer man... so much neater than mine, with very clear notations all his workings and answers are stapled to the back.. so when in doubt.. flip~! without this, i wun feel confident abt maths at all... thanks dude~ i owe u one

*sighs* so annoying i just got my monthlies today... been cramping the whole afternoon! no wonder wei chan saes i've been realli moody and irritable these few days~! ahhhhhhh.. i wonder how he puts up with me and shumei being so noisy and mood-swingy and all.. HAHHAHA thankiew wei chan for everything~! for being so kind with schoolwork (esp. HOI, Maths 1B, and Lit) and for being my good fren, nagging at me to do my work and for being so lame and especially being urself~!!!!! i NOE u'll get into medicine cos u worked so hard and ur personality is GREAT~

now this post is starting to become more and more like a dedication entry. hahahhaa~ but its realli true man! trinity ppl are realli helpful and kind.. i've got to thank ivan as well for helpin me relax when we study cos he's such a bloody slacka! *jkjkjk!* but i have nothing to give back cos i dun have anything to offer! i'm such a useless dumbass!

aniwae... last night... 3am.. stella and henrietta brought mi sis home damn pissed drunk.. think it was her first time getting drunk.. and mi sis was acting all weird.. crying and laughing... it freaked me out man~! scare me sia. den she got a nosebleed and bled all over the bed... i freaked out like crazy! but i managed to help her wash up and everything...haisszx... stress ah.. she kept calling all her frens and talkin in a weird accent man... SCARIE! luckily i dun drink much and probably getting drunk is a long time awae..

eap exam's over man~ hahahaha... now i gotta get down to maths 1 and media.. *sighs* oh wells, i still have the weekend~! i so have to change my lifestyle.. i gotta become a super nerd man!



ohh.. today stella organised an advanced surprise birthday dinner for my sister~ at this korean place called the kimchi grandma's kitchen. food was great, i love their corn tea, and the waiters were realli korean and cute~ hahahhaa! before that i came home earlier to see her and stella.. and when she asked mi to follow them to go out.. i had no excuse and just stared at stella going.. ERRRRRRRR... but stella as usual.. saves the day by asking "don't u hafta study, mayuyi?!" and seriously man.. my sis is so blur.. she wore a collar shirt.. and stella was like.. "eh wear nicer la"... den my sister didn't suspect anithing and went "HUH? u mean this not nice ah?" *slaps forehead* hahaa.. later on when she went for the dinner she kept going.. i wanna go home and change@!! cos all her frens were dressed up for her.. hahhaha... my bimbotic sister. aniwae.. i thot i was late and i ran like crazy but onli magan kor2 was there waiting~ hahahhaa... i bet i looked like an idiot running in my platforms~ oh wells. henrietta, gerald, tee, magan kor2's gf, joanne and johann kor2 came too~ i even met chiew keng there with his mom & frens~ woo~ we all sat at the table and waited for my sister & stella to come and boy.. was she shocked! hahaha... matcha and chocolate ice cream cake... very delicious!! and the candles were those that will re-flame itself after being blown out~ hahahaa... i think my sister was very happi... cool cool~! i got her a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle of her favourite artpiece, "The Creation of Adam". hahaha~ i wanna make it for her! but i'll do it nex yr la.. cos my dad's coming this sunday and he mite be unhappi with a naked man on our wall~



i've been thinking and i realise that girls actualli think too much and guys are too sissified to voice their thoughts out. gender differences are just so confusing. i dunno if it applies to this.. but i'm definitely thinking too much. today i got to talk to him.. but he seemed rather distracted in the conversation.. it was so strange tt last time we cud alwaes talk so much but now it's a bit awkward. was it just the heat of the moment before? or is it bcos of the exam stress? maybe i shud try being quiet for a change. maebe tt's wad he wants.. peace and quiet.. i realli shud learn to stop babbling on abt rubbish man.. i mean mi and wei chan... he's so quiet and we dun have to talk much when we go out.. esp when shumei's with us cos she dominates in the talking aspect, but we're still gd frens and he shows concern for me and everything man. so i guess tt means tt not talking doen't mean tt the person doesn't bother abt u afta all. *sighs* it's difficult.. i tend to talk rubbish when i'm realli tense! argh... guys are not worth this man.

maybe i shud start exercising after media exam cos that'll release endorphins and make mi happier and then i'll lose weight, my dad wun be so agitated and i wun hate miself so much. i just dun feel right thinking abt possibilities of a guy liking me when i'm this fat and ugli cos i feel it's asking for too much. i dun wan to hear anione saying otherwise to comfort me because i know myself. i'm not happi abt being fat n i hate mi face in many angles.. but i accept and wun deny it. kk shit why do i like writing long entries? i think with so mani insecurities, enuff is enuff for today.

i'm so glad hoi exam's over. altho theories and philosophy that revolutionize mankind are interesting, it is rather exhausting for the mind. i actualli filled up the whole booklet for the first time this year~ hahaa.. i think that's abt 1700+ words. =] so strange the past few days i actualli found it realli fun and motivating to study in the library. prob due to the fact that ivan, wei chan and shumei are crazy ppl and easy to discuss points with.

i feel so weird today.. so empty so listless.. possibly pms? identity crisis? i dunno wad i'm supposed to think or feel. i dunno what to project myself to others as anymore.. i've alwaes been expressing myself as an open, chubby, fun-loving noisy girl.. but now i just can't care. just so tired. i can't be bothered to make gd impressions on others alreadi. i dun have the energy to be my normal self around mi frens animore. been askin miself what i mean to the world and why does the world exist if we are just meant to live and die and improve standards of living.

it's been six days and i still haven't talked to him. okie.. today we greeted each other.. still~ but i dunno why i've been acting rather cold towards him. what's up? insecurity maybe? maybe i'm overreacting, maybe it's the exams, maybe all the while i've alwaes read his actions wrongly? that he could have done all that but have no feelings for me? a bit hard to believe but if so... i realli wasted mi time and it's not funni. still.. i think it's going to be realli difficult if he's not going to do anithing. i noe this is the 21st century and it's all right for me to start but he's a popular guy and i dun wanna scare him awae or let him think he can do wad he wants wit me. plus we're rather different. he doesn't understand me and i dun realli understand the way he handles things either. we hang out with different ppl. i'm not into the frens he hangs out with and he isn't into my frens either, esp the wilder ones. he has such a guai and straight character... altho at times perverted but i dun feel gd enuff. and i'm not exactly a secure girl i dunno if i can handle courting n relationships alreadi. found a nice quotation for this.

Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you have to be involved with them. Love is not a bandage to cover wounds.

k.. ENOUGH! eap exam is tml... nothing to study but i cant let miself go awry cos of a guy and cos of love. i cannot waste mi time on a guy.. i'm a rational being. i'm with Socrates.. not with Romanticism where the individual is controlled by emotions. i WILL discover the truth by asking myself questions and examining myself. i will try to perfect myself as an individual in my education. respect for Socrates!!! okay fine HOI is really over, stop about Socrates!!! it was gd writing today tho... i had to realli sort mi thots and i took a real long time to write it.. it's like 1am++ alreadi.. hahaha... altho i'm also distracted by the television~ kk i betta sleep. good night~!

just got back from lunch at yoyogi's with wei chan, shumei, stephanus, shasti, kwok liang and rahim.. hahaha so spastic this shasti and i kept mocking each other like crazy... wadeva man shasti is spastic.. SHASTIC! i ain't realli into yoyogi's food.. (no offense, shumei & shastic!)but haha... the company was funnie..

ooooo... yay~ i feel a bit betta after lit exam's over! i think i did all right la.. out of 15 i think i can get 10... but i realli have to get 15!!!!! otherwise my chances of getting into law and commerce will be like so pulled down man.. my drama exam i realli hope i can get 10 out of 10 to maximise my english~ shit.. i think my average is onli like 85, 86... how to get into law!!!?!?! architecture is 85 so shudn't be a big problem.. i think i can appeal with my activities but yaaa... okie i shudn't panic so much!!! tml is hoi paper... i freakin dunno what to do for it cos we nv had hoi exam before! *sighs* shud i go join wei chan and shumei at the library? ok fine i should!

hmmmm.. i saw him today!! as i was entering the exam room.. but i din go sae hi or anithing cos i was afraid of getting distracted so i kept avoiding him... and i left the room half hour earlier so i waited outside arrowheights damn long la.. everybody came out liao.. but he was still in there writing.. and i cudn't make the rest wait animore so nv saw him after tt.. *sob* i haven't talked to him for a while.. cannot tahan!!! okie after hoi exam is eap.. nothing to study so i can go talk to him after hoi!!!

kk i realli gtg study my hoi!! ciao ciao~

dun u think it gets rather depressing waking up every morning to a view of the state library's dome??? i'm bombarded with stress!! exam's are in three days man!!! and i still feel like playing. today i skimmed thru my hoi textbook and notes (thank u wei chan!). oh wells.. nothing interesting.. takin a rest now.. (been taking too mani breaks today! =P) yesterdae was a bit exciting despite the fact tt i stayed home the whole day.. it hailed!!!! how cool is that? suddenly my whole balcony was splashed with thousands of white ice marbles! they looked like candy~ a pity they melted in like 15 min tho..shud have taken pics! and today most of my afternoon has been distracted by this old man standing on a soapbox in the front lawn of the state library... he's been shouting out his opinions and picking quarrels with mani audiences and passerbys man~ and a lot of wad he said shud be censored! can someone shoot him for disturbing the peace?

shit.. i smell roasted meat from my neighbour!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH buay tahan worr!!! hehee... nvmszx i'll try to distract myself from my hunger!

a bit sad now that my drama exam's over~! i realli had fun doing it these past few weeks and this afternoon's performance.. altho we had a minor glitch with our sound effects, i thot we did great~! i think i freaked quite a lot of ppl out with my scari eyes muahahaha~! quite a few said it looked a bit like ju-on when i crawled along the floor!! and like a tale of two sisters when my "parents" sat down dead! how cool is that?! =p ian just told me tt geoff died realli realistically too! eeehehe, took video of it!! so happie!! i love my drama mates man~! ohh...i'm gonna miss them all!!! oh ya.. my fren gave me a bouquet of flowers with a realli embarrassing card!!! ahhhh!!! wanna strangle him!!!

oh wells, been helping out with mulia's drama most of the daytime.. he had some problems with his facial expressions. i dunno if i gave gd advice but the real thing turned out quite well~! congratulations mulia!!! i loved the part abt him and ann doing the movie trailer scene. "james bond and carmen electra in the world is too much". both of them looked so cute~! quite a lot of other grps did well too~ tml i gotta watch the 12-2pm slot... weichan, stephanus & florence will be performing!

shit i regret not eating dinner... super hungry!!!! kk i go shower now!

argh... scari dae yesterdae mann... afta drama meeting we had lunch.. i put my school bag on the floor next to me.. and when i finished eating, i looked down and my bag was gone! yups u guessed as much... it got stolen man.. along with my hp, my wallet, my key.. *sighs* apparently the shop camera took a bit of what happened.. altho it wasn't much but still, i din have to keep wondering. altho i told my sis abt it, i was realli afraid of facing my parents and her so when my grp mates had to go, i went looking for wei chan and he accompanied me for a coupla hours. i dunno why man i think it was all emotional but i started feeling realli sick. like i had to lie down, i felt so nauseous, headache & stomachache.. i think i annoyed wei chan wit all my complaints! oops haha so spastic~! i din realise tt my sis called my frens up to look for me.. i think she called geoff & shumei several times or sth. felt so bad, i went home and got a scolding from my sis.. oh wells... i'm sorri! den we realised tt in my wallet my license had my address so the thief knew where we lived and he had the keys! and we started panicking.. and then we moved house! my sis was so funni, she said she had to take our tv along.. and our tv is not exactly portable.. it's 57x70cm++! omg... can die.. now she complains abt her back and i hafta massage for her! we just threw our precious things in a big suitcase man! the dvd player, vcr, fax machine! rice cooker? yea... stress sia! we managed to do most of it in an hour! haha.. afta we finally settled in, it was abt 11pm and i met shumei & weichan downstairs to go to cafe crema nearby for a chat~! and waited for shumei to get her cab so i stayed till 1am++! wahhh.. so tired sia..

still pissed off until now. i feel like looking for the guy and smashing his balls with my hockey stick! my whole year's maths work and my lit books and notes were in there man. and exams are just around the corner. how do u expect me to recover everything by this week and still study sufficiently? i'm still trying to grab every single piece of work i can get my hands on! oh wells, at least the situation is in the process of getting salvaged. think i'll go talk to the student counsellor tml or something! can't realli imagine life without a phone man! when i made my police report it was quite funni when the guy took down everything inside my bag. when he asked mi wad brand my wallet was, i felt so funni saying, "PLAYBOY". so idiotic! *sighs* i miss my phone... it was the most expensive phone in my life and i was absolutely happy with it... *sob*

haha.. today? spent the whole day in baillieu library with shumei and wei chan.. had dinner at mark's place and then just got home!!! oh ya i uploaded ball pics! u can go view my good-looking frens cos i looked realli fat in the pics. haha~ and no dun bother trying to comfort me.

wahh.. been browsing thru my ball pics and i've decided to hold off wearing sleeveless stuff till i lose my arm fats! seriously my arms look like two chicken drumsticks man!!! i looked super terrible in two of the pics that i went to edit them myself!!! the onli nice ones was when i took with shumei, weichan & stephanus and another with jaya mulia cos they covered my arms!!! this isnt funni man.. when i look at mi pics i feel so grossed out liao. i'm so fat how am i even gonna tell him anything?? he's probably gonna think "why would u think i'd actualli like such a fat and noisy girl like u?" argh.. forget it.. i've totally lost my confidence.. i'm gonna shove my love life to the bottom priority and raise up the weight loss!

omg! why did i post such a mushy song? stupid mayuyi.