the deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy

went to the aus high comm today to continue my visa application from 2 weeks ago before i went to spore.. found out that they've changed the system and i've got to apply online now!!! wah my efforts in filling out the pink form booklet were wasted!! bleaghs... oh ya i ran into sze shih and tiffany on my way out! =] both going to melb u too and they just started on their visa applications~

my dad met his friend who happened to be the director of brudirect.com which is a news site and he asked me to go learn stuff at his office tml!! how cool is that?! he told me i could write articles for the local borneo bulletin.. but i got nervous and said i didn't think i was ready yet.. but he told me there is never a time to get ready.. it's like pushing u into the pool.. and if i drown he'll help me.. rather inspiring words they were.. =]

aiya.. doing my application now.. thank goodness i've got a scanner and they have an attachment facility otherwise i'd have to fax it all and it's more troublesome.. especially with my under 18 forms.. *sighs* and yes wei chan i'm still doing my visa!! it's never too late..

arrived in brunei yesterday.. on the plane i had this headache. it felt like a huge hand was squeezing my brain and i cudn't help but cry.. i think it was the rapid difference in pressure as the plane was descending.. ah wells.. i think it wasn't as bad as my sister when she flew to spore.. her pain lasted for many days after.. so i probably have nothin to worry abt.. i felt much betta once i slept anyway..

went for hong tak kor2's pang tei/tea ceremony today.. he's a distant cousin of mine~ his bride is so tall and she looked gorgeous in her red halterneck cheongsam~ ooOo~! yupyups~ it was pretty cool.. =] food was great! other than that i din do anything but sleep the whole day and watch tv.. feel kinda sick & lethargic~ will update when i feel bettaa~

met diona for phantom of the opera!! it's such a wonderful, classic movie man.. the women's voices were exceptional~! lotsa drama but there was this one part.. when the phantom let christine leave with raoul.. he sat down smiling at his monkey musical box.. and that look on his face.. was so brimful of bittersweet emotions.. losing everything.. his utter sadness, loneliness and acknowledging that his only final companion was this stuffed monkey clashing its tiny cymbals.. even tho he did so many evil deeds.. it's like ur heart just goes out to him man.. i mean okie.. my whole row which consisted of me, diona and some lady.. wahh.. all of us just started crying man..

haha.. helped diona with her japanese presentation after that till 8pm++ at kinokuniya and went off to meet jansen.. woah man think the last i saw him was middle of 2003~ he doesn't seem so intimidatingly tall now but maybe tt's cos i was wearing heels hahah~ he's now working in the army.. so fast ah.. felt like just yesterdae tt he was in jc and i was in secondary playing squash every week~ we had a genghis khan buffet at takashimaya.. and the 2 of us emptied one whole tray of oysters man~! hahaha.. oopsie~ he brought me to alleybar later and treated me to a tequila pop.. i was staring and wondering what the extra coaster was doing on top of my drink.. i thot it was a freebie.. den the waitress explained to me tt i had to slam the drink onto the table and the coaster was to prevent any unwanted splashes.. oh wells~ u learn sth new everyday~! it was cool meeting an old friend today~! i'll stop here.. ciao bella~!

this morn i went to make a police report wit my parents.. my parents were such jokers man.. they were checking out a police van (with the grilles on the windows) and telling me abt their past experiences in there (of cos for harmless things). they must have looked suspicious cos 2 policemen came out to see what we were doing n my parents started laughing.. oh mannnn! haha... den while i was making my report my dad kept asking what were the requirements for being in the police force for me(for fun).. and the guy wasn't realli sure abt the female height requirements so when a policewoman came by, both my parents stood up simultaneously to see how tall she is.. and the policeman just laughed like siao la.. omg!!!!!

haha.. aniwae.. i was almost an hour late meeting lynn cos of the report. so sorry girl!!! was supposed to put streaks of pink in our hair but the hairdresser discouraged us from doing it.. i shall spare u the details.. so we went on to watch the aviator with yijun~ leonardo is one cool actor sia. except for when he repeated "when i put my right hand.. and then my left hand.." tt part looked a bit awkward.. still, it's quite a difficult part to act without looking awkward.. but everything else.. can realli feel the emotions in him man.. woohoo~ go leo!

i put pink and red streaks in my hair!!!! but they're hair extensions.. figured it wud be the easiest and safest wayyy~

today was a day full of nostalgia~! first met lynn at 11am to have tau huay(?) near our old sec sch. i realli miss the soya beancurd man~! $1.20 is not bad for such a big bowl.. then we headed to sch but this time we signed in as visitors.. haha~ they painted the school watermelon-brownish-red and yellow!!!! omg! lynn insisted tt it looked like a community centre haha.. went to collect a letter from auntie devi and met all my teachers~! my pri chinese tcher zhang laoshi!! den zhuang laoshi, mrs sushilla, mrs maria sng, mrs ong, mdm yeo tze hwee, mrs yeo, the 3 mrs tans, mr tan and mr phee~!!!! the tchers and the canteen vendors all still look the same man~! bought loads of food to eat.. each a dollar or less~ wooohh.. i miss sch man~!

oh yah!!! i lost my ic by the time i went to meet my mum at her stall!!! omg... my mum was furious man..

hehe... had a farewell party for vera at her place man~! she's going to perth!!! i wish her all the best! her place is absolutely beautiful!!! it was great to meet up with all my ex-classmates and ex-schmates~! all the girls are definitely much prettier and thinner now!!! omg... wad happened to me!!?! hahaha.. it was so fun talkin to them and finally being able to be myself! i dunno why.. tho i'm alwaes spastic it just feels different having frens outside of sngs.. with other pple i feel like i'm onli amusing myself.. but like with those girls i'm realli not the onli one who's loud and spastic~ ppl like diona so much wittier and lamer!!! hmmmm.. maybe cos we're all more open and cheerful? hehe i hope so~ oh ya i met kevin mah there man.. it was quite shocking haha.. he's like bigger now cos of ns?? i din think it was possible! muahahahahs! met charlotte too!!! haven't seen her since wad... graduation?? man.. she's got a long tail now.. it's cool~ but she's still the same!! still very cute~! hahaszx..

saturday: right after i arrived in spore, i spent the day with sylvia shopping for mel's pressies and just chilling.. and oh~ i just got a temporary tattoo just under my collarbone~ hehe sylvia's become much beautifuller yet again~! ooOo baby~! yups.. rushed off afta that to mel's belated birthday dinner with the blacks! hope she likes her pressies! we ate at fish & co glass house and the fish was great but the chips were not! oh wells.. the atmosphere was pretty relaxing with a singer who loved to kacau our table.. haha =] happie belated birthday mel~!

sun: met up wit sylvia and her fren aimee (another big chiobu) at cine in the afternoon.. did a bit of parapara and droolled over a grp of realli cute japanese guys at the e-games.. we ran into my trinity schmates varicha and louisa~! haha.. and then later into pearlyn koh! the spice of my sec 1 to 3 classes~! wahahaa.. she's still the same.. acting bimbotic and sexay~ muahaha.. lynn came along to have dinner with us at aburiya, this yakiniku restaurant behind my place~ i miss aburiya so badly!!! love the gyu tan (cow tongue)!! too bad that lynn's not into it.. hehe.. after that we hung around at liang court and ate some bread from four leaves.. and then lynn, syl and me hung around at this tapas bar in clarke quay with realli cosy sofas and just chatted and chilled till midnight~! the churros there was not tt gd.. but the chocolate sauce rocked!! and the red sangria cocktail too!! hehe.. i have a feeling sylvia will make mi go back someday~

woohoo~ last night was realli fun! haven't had so much fun since i came here in dec~! went to jerudong park with alan, tiffany, daniel and siew hui (she came from spore to visit tiff! cool~) and rode on all the scary rides~! the giant drop was one of my first stops.. alan made mi go. my palms were super clammy when we were slowly lifted up and the feeling of falling from that height.. was realli.. realli.. bizarre.. haha.. it's the scariest ride in the park man.. everything else, even the water log and pusing lagi.. felt absolutely all right to me.. i cud finally open my eyes and scream happily along with the others~! haha.. bumper cars was damn fun too~ but it can get a bit rough.. we were there for like 45 minutes or sth banging into each other and ambushing the staff! cos hardly anyone was there and we practically had the WHOLE park to ourselves. what a shame cos it's such a nice place~! and it's only 15 bucks for everything! i'm glad my mum suggested it for our outing cos last time i went many rides were closed down and i thot it wud be sian.. but it was all good! we were there from 6+ to 11.30 man~ actualli, with all the nature, the empire and jerudong park, i realli think that brunei's tourism can be boosted a lot wit just a little more advertising.. hehe.. my dad picked mi and alan up and stopped by at nasi katok for a drink.. man.. i din noe tt it was a hangout for youngsters cos it's open 24 hours. and the seats were so darn cool! they were all old car seats covered with faux animal fur.. they even had the seatbelt clip still attached! haha.. wah wad an exciting day.. by the time i got home i was soooo worn out tt i just crawled into bed wit my mum and slept!! and actualli.. that was why i was so tired i din call melissa to wish her happie birthday.. SORRI MEL!!

hAppIe 18tH biRtHdaY MelIsSa!~!



hehe.. mel's 18 today!!! i'm so jealous i have 7 months to wait to be able to club legally!! haha.. her bdae party is on saturday!! i'll arrive in the afternoon in time for it~!!! so exciting~!!!!! =]

hAppIe biRtHdaY aMa!~!

my grandma~! i wish her a very long life~! thanks for cooking for me each time~!!!!

went out wit alan and daniel todae~! was like half an hour late cos my grandma came to our hse and i helped her prune our plants and my dad took a long time to get ready to send me to gadong! oopsie~ we went to the mall and watched a world without thieves starring andy lau.. it was a nice storyline with great actors.. a bit too serious but it was all right~ hehe. daniel left rite after tt so alan n i just chilled out at coffee bean for an hour ++ and went to the gigantic fake dvd shop behind the mall and spent over an hour there too~ i bought 2 techno & hse cds and a japanese yakuza movie brother for 3 bucks each.. i think it mite be r-rated but my mum said it's probably just violence so i dun think my parents will scold me for getting it. *whew*

hehe just got back from tua koh's hse! was celebrating mi grandma's birthday in advance~! had a gd time cos mi the whole family (except for mi sis in spore and gi koh's family in adelaide) came and i got to spend time wit mi cousins~! the semi-potluck buffet was absolutely delicious!!! *yum* and i think my grandma looked realli happi~! it's all good~! after that tua koh once again asked me to lecture jonathan to concentrate on studies.. kasihan tt boy haha.. i dun remember studying when i was 14 but oh wells.. i just helped him with his maths hw and tua koh seemed satisfied.. hahhaa..

most of the afternoon was spent in empire and i ran into daniel + his cousin again.. oh i ran into my childhood fren ivan and his family too~! hahha he and his sis will be mi seniors in law and media~ tt'll be cool~! okie gtg slp. tml i'm goin out wit daniel and alan~! so exciting!!! i haven't gone out with anyone my age since i came here this hols~!

stayed overnight at miri this weekend wit mi dad and mum.. a two-hour drive man!!! i bet mi dad's realli tired rite now. it was gd fun.. driving around.. shopping.. eating.. *yum* hehe... i have a coupla schmates there. yih sheng and yih wen.. twins, one of whom was in my term 3 drama grp. but i din have their contact numbers so yea. it was a shame~ =( okie i gtg watch this pompoko tanuki japanese movie wit mi mum~ ciaos*

aye! mi dad just moved a big potted plant into the attic where i'm surfing net and all the gigantic ants are crawling around me now!!! even the flying ones! YUCKS. i'm starting to feel itchy!

hmmm... i've kinda thot abt being in a relationship.. but i think i will realli have to give up now. i've decided tt he doesn't have those feelings for me animore. and he was probably just playing me n i took it too seriously.. it's sth tt i cannot resolve no matter how hard i try to. i've tried listing out the arguments for and against the fact tt he likes me and neither outweighs the other.. i've even made it as obvious as i possibly cud without losing too much face. probably he was confused last time la.. but as long as he will finally noe wad he wants.. i'm all right with losing all of this. altho it's gonna hurt but it's not gonna hurt forever ya noe. i spent too mani sleepless nights on this and probably mi biggest mistake was to have written so much abt mi feelings on mi blog.. maybe he hesitated cos of this but it has alreadi happened and if he's the sort of person who lets mi posts get the better of him.. den he's probably not worth it. i think i've finally remembered why i avoided guys in sec 3 and sec 4.. i thot i cud handle it when i was at trinity.. but i guess i mite have to wait a while more again.

oh wells.. right now mi goal is to act as normal and optimistic as i can. maybe after a while i will be. i dunno y i haven't been able to smile much lately in brunei.. let alone laugh. i miss stayin in melbourne cos i had so much personal space and time to express miself and vent mi frustration so tt i'll be happi the rest of the time. i think i onli smile genuinely averagely once a day now and it's mostly onli to mi mum.. tt's not gd cos i love it when pple smile. i love the crinkles around the eyes wit the soft gaze.. it helps u look radiant and younger! and it just makes the world a betta place.. i need to smile more!!!

oh btw~! i've uploaded pics to mi 2 new albums.. feb intake #3 and valedictory! sorri it's so late! and if u were wwondering abt the pic of mi in the creek.. haha it was during mi orientation camp and i realli had so much fun!

hey.. it's been a while.. well some stuff happened. i'll just go over it as briefly as possible. the tsunami situation is getting so bad now. i think indonesia especially needs lots of help. just watching all the stories of dead loved ones.. it was so devastating. the new year celebrations at empire were cancelled in response to it.. i'm not disappointed and yea i understand. *sighs* i wanna help out in the affected ctries.. but i dun think i'm prepared for it.. i'll have to go look for clothes to give awae.

mi aunt and her husb from osaka came to visit us.. the first day was so-so.. we brought them to kampong ayer where they rode on the sampan.. well mizuyo obachan being the realli compulsive hygienic person she is.. i think she hated it.. but her husb seemed to like it a lot.. den we went to hua ho for some grocery shopping and on the way back.. i was holding her hand while she was crossing a drain abt 80 cm wide and 1.3m deep.. she din think tt there was nothing between the edges and fell in... and she was realli shocked by it and rather traumatized since then.. been staying at the hotel and the beach for the rest of the trip.. and i felt sooo bad abt it.. i shud have stopped her and warned her clearly abt the drain. *sighs* and i think mi dad was kinda hurt cos he realli wanted her to enjoy her trip here.. *sigh* aniwae.. mi uncle seemed to like brunei.. the food and we climbed bukit shahbandar twice~ i think mi dad was glad tt he enjoyed tt.. he loved the coconut juice too~! we all watched kung fu hustle.. realli funni movie man couldn't stop laughing at all. on new year's eve we had a damn cool buffet at the pantai restaurant.. and ran into wei wei and long long, mi childhood frens.. ohh.. and gareth gates too~ i went up to him and shook his hand. altho i din realli noe exactly who he was.. haha..

we brought ojisan to the fake dvd shops bought so mani fake dvds and music cds tt i'm afraid of becoming obsessed! and the new mall in gadong.. mi first time there and i was realli impressed. there's this bar called "chill" and it looks like a bar with the blue luminous light and the bartenders shake the cocktails and all tt but there's no alcohol duh cos it's brunei. but i still i think it's darn cool!!! and there were mani motorbikers drinking and hanging around there.. wahh mi jaw dropped sia.. their bikes were so big and funky. their outfits were like the damn sporty ninja biker kind.. with lotsa rubber protection. special shoes.. damn cool helmets.. i was so bowled over! and mi mum tried chatting one of them up. he was real friendly and told us stuff abt their club and the prices of all the bike stuff. hehe... how cool is that??! and i saw this guy in baggy tracksuit and braided hair.. SO COOL YA? i cudn't believe it was brunei.. i'm glad everyone's becoming more fashionable and exciting~

today we went down to kb again to visit mi grandma~ rongrong's forever there.. cute boy but so cheeky. mi sis played wit him till she was exhausted man.. luckily i learnt to act more dao ahaha. after dinner we drove back to bandar and stopped by jonathan's hse.. man mi mum is super paranoid man.. i went to the grd flr computer room wit jonathan to surf net.. WITH THE DOOR OPEN.. and mi mum came in and out and just scolded me abt it afterward! "i told u not to stay in the same room with a boy!!!!!" wah liew.. i just ignored her and den mi dad lectured me too!!! but when he found out it wasn't jon's bedroom but the computer room downstairs he was like.. ohhh wadeva la.. aye! mi mum is crazy.