the deepest definition of youth is life as yet untouched by tragedy

eap exam's over man~ hahahaha... now i gotta get down to maths 1 and media.. *sighs* oh wells, i still have the weekend~! i so have to change my lifestyle.. i gotta become a super nerd man!



ohh.. today stella organised an advanced surprise birthday dinner for my sister~ at this korean place called the kimchi grandma's kitchen. food was great, i love their corn tea, and the waiters were realli korean and cute~ hahahhaa! before that i came home earlier to see her and stella.. and when she asked mi to follow them to go out.. i had no excuse and just stared at stella going.. ERRRRRRRR... but stella as usual.. saves the day by asking "don't u hafta study, mayuyi?!" and seriously man.. my sis is so blur.. she wore a collar shirt.. and stella was like.. "eh wear nicer la"... den my sister didn't suspect anithing and went "HUH? u mean this not nice ah?" *slaps forehead* hahaa.. later on when she went for the dinner she kept going.. i wanna go home and change@!! cos all her frens were dressed up for her.. hahhaha... my bimbotic sister. aniwae.. i thot i was late and i ran like crazy but onli magan kor2 was there waiting~ hahahhaa... i bet i looked like an idiot running in my platforms~ oh wells. henrietta, gerald, tee, magan kor2's gf, joanne and johann kor2 came too~ i even met chiew keng there with his mom & frens~ woo~ we all sat at the table and waited for my sister & stella to come and boy.. was she shocked! hahaha... matcha and chocolate ice cream cake... very delicious!! and the candles were those that will re-flame itself after being blown out~ hahahaa... i think my sister was very happi... cool cool~! i got her a 1000-piece jigsaw puzzle of her favourite artpiece, "The Creation of Adam". hahaha~ i wanna make it for her! but i'll do it nex yr la.. cos my dad's coming this sunday and he mite be unhappi with a naked man on our wall~



i've been thinking and i realise that girls actualli think too much and guys are too sissified to voice their thoughts out. gender differences are just so confusing. i dunno if it applies to this.. but i'm definitely thinking too much. today i got to talk to him.. but he seemed rather distracted in the conversation.. it was so strange tt last time we cud alwaes talk so much but now it's a bit awkward. was it just the heat of the moment before? or is it bcos of the exam stress? maybe i shud try being quiet for a change. maebe tt's wad he wants.. peace and quiet.. i realli shud learn to stop babbling on abt rubbish man.. i mean mi and wei chan... he's so quiet and we dun have to talk much when we go out.. esp when shumei's with us cos she dominates in the talking aspect, but we're still gd frens and he shows concern for me and everything man. so i guess tt means tt not talking doen't mean tt the person doesn't bother abt u afta all. *sighs* it's difficult.. i tend to talk rubbish when i'm realli tense! argh... guys are not worth this man.

maybe i shud start exercising after media exam cos that'll release endorphins and make mi happier and then i'll lose weight, my dad wun be so agitated and i wun hate miself so much. i just dun feel right thinking abt possibilities of a guy liking me when i'm this fat and ugli cos i feel it's asking for too much. i dun wan to hear anione saying otherwise to comfort me because i know myself. i'm not happi abt being fat n i hate mi face in many angles.. but i accept and wun deny it. kk shit why do i like writing long entries? i think with so mani insecurities, enuff is enuff for today.